Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
