i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
