i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
