Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
