Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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