4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
