I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
