just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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