shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
