me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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