I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
