A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
