bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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