why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
