Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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