I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
