We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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