Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So drunk its hurt
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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