eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
