just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
