I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
