why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
