stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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