I feel great
I just peed on a car
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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