but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
