New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
