I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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