you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
