i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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