I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you inspire me to be a worse person
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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