ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
