I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
