I feel great
I just peed on a car
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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