Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
