She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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