I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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