Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
