it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
