Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
