There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
