Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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