Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
