I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
