Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
