He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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