Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
