Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
