Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
