Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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