I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
