I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
