would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize