my mouth tastes like poor choices
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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